


Rainy Day(s)

by RedEndz



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Spoilers, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 16:45:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13685667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedEndz/pseuds/RedEndz
Summary: Spending Valentine's Day alone is not what Ren wants.





	Rainy Day(s)

**Author's Note:**

> This author has no skills in writing a summary. Thank you in advance for even clicking this story despite the bad summary.
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Here's a virtual chocolate!

_ February 14th, 22:13:14 _

Valentine’s Day, the once in a year event for lovers that Ren has never and never will get to spend with Goro.

You can’t celebrate an event when the person you want to celebrate with is dead.   

It was already April when he first came to Tokyo two years ago for his probation for something that was not his fault. It has been twenty months since he met the love of his life. It has been fifteen months since the death of his boyfriend. They had only spent time together for a measly five months and even less as lovers. It was too short and gone by too fast for Ren to even catch his breath.

Maybe that’s why he has difficulty breathing when thinking about Goro.

Despite the lies that spilled out of Goro’s pretty lips, Ren knows that Goro truly had fallen in love with him. The red face, the stuttering, and the shy demeanor were not an act even if the detective furiously claimed them to be. Truly, who will believe him when he was crying so heartbreakingly? It felt like someone just stabbed Ren in the heart and twisted the knife while it was still in him.

But it was nothing compared to what Goro had suffered throughout his entire life.

Even in his last moments, Goro still chose to hide behind his ever familiar mask, even if the mask already has uncountable cracks on it. He was viewed as a doll, moving only when he was told to do so, dancing when people wanted him to, killing when he was instructed to do so and being shoved left and right to the amusement of others.

In the end, he was thrown away and forgotten when he outlived his usefulness.

It’s cruel, inhumane and repulsive. Unfortunately, that is the world they all live in. It’s only his selfish wish, but Ren hopes that he was able to bring happiness – no matter how minuscule – to Goro’s bitter life. How he regrets that he cannot do more to help to Goro.

Ren wonders if Goro will ever be honest with himself, he wonders if the detective ever truly allows happiness into his own life. Ren wonders if Goro will ever accept Ren in his life. He wonders if Goro knows how much he meant to Ren and how much Ren loves him.

Ultimately, he can only wonder.

_Dead people don’t speak._

 

_ February 14th, 22:22:22 _

Days, weeks and months passed by and yet the one he is wishing for will never show up. He knows that it is not healthy for him to long so much for a dead person and he knows that he should move on. He knows, he really knows.

As if it’s that easy to do.

How do you even move on when you know the person you love will never come back home? How do you move on when everything just reminds you of the person you gave your heart to? How do you move on when your heart still belongs to that very person and your heart still stings so badly whenever you think of him?

Everyone says that time will heal all wounds and soon he will not be hurting so much anymore. But isn’t that just sad? For it to not hurt anymore means he does not care as much for Goro anymore. Soon, Goro will just become a distant memory that he may or may not look back to when he grows up. Soon, he may even forget about the detective who only wishes for someone to appreciate and love him for who he is. Ren will not stand for it; the memories he has with Goro may be few but they are still precious. Even if everyone forgets about Goro, he will never forget.

His friends discourage him from coming to Tokyo for his university, being in the area where he met Goro will not help him to move on. He should have gone somewhere far away; it will make it less painful. That, it will help.

Ren does not think so. After all, the one year he spent in his hometown did not make him itch for Goro any lesser than usual. In fact, absence makes the heart fonder and Ren is no exception to that. His heart is still in broken little pieces on the ground and his hands already have wounds and scars all over with his attempts at picking them up. Ren stops trying and instead decides to protect these precious little pieces. In the end, even though they are now in tiny pieces, they are still the very pieces that love Goro with all their might. They are still the ones that made up the heart that he gave to Goro.

Unfortunately, they have nowhere to go right now.

No matter how much he prays, no matter how much he begs, no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he screams his lungs out, no matter how much he wishes for, he will never be able to see Goro ever again. Never ever again.

Oh, he misses Goro so,  _so_ much.

_Won’t you come back to me?_

_Dead people will always stay dead._

 

_ February 14th, 23:00:01 _

Of all days to rain, the weather has to choose today to do so. Ren shivers and stands up from where he sits to brew himself a coffee to warm himself up. Sure, drinking coffee at night prevents him from getting any sleep at night but he honestly thinks he will not be getting much sleep whether he drinks coffee or not. Not when a pair of reddish-brown eyes are always following and burning a hole through him. Accusing, always accusing him of not doing enough when he could.

He welcomes the hatred. He deserves it. If Goro can be happy just by hating him, Ren will gladly embrace the loathing.

It does not stop Ren from loving him.

Once he finishes brewing his cup of coffee, Ren goes back to his seat that he sat on ever since he came back from his hometown -- it’s the second chair at the countertop from the door. He holds the cup with both of his hands for warmth, attempting to dispel the coldness away from his hands. However, his hands still feel strangely cold despite the high temperature of the coffee. 

He shivers once more, rubbing his arms up and down as a mock attempt at trying to warm himself up.

The moment he had finished his high school in his hometown, Ren jumped at the opportunity to get out of the 'home' that he has never belonged to and moved to Tokyo for his university. It’s not like his parents’ care what he does anyway. Other than the usual ‘Don’t cause any more troubles’, they did not even blink an eye when he introduced Morgana to them.

Morgana was less than happy when it happens.

He is glad that his parents were not able to hear Morgana’s actual words, the feisty cat would probably get kicked out of the house for what he said.

While Sojiro is kind enough to offer one of the guest rooms in his house for Ren to live in for free, Ren refused.  Although he sees Futaba as a younger sister, he still does not think it’s appropriate for them to live under the same rooftop and it may cause some disturbing rumors to circle around. Futaba had finally broken out of her shell and made a few friends outside of the Phantom Thieves, Ren does not want Futaba to be hurt from the cruel words that teenagers are capable of and willing to say. By no means does Ren thinks Futaba as weak, not when she has so bravely endured all the sufferings that no one her age should ever experience. Despite that, it is still an older brother's job to protect his younger sister and Ren does not want any of his precious family or friends to ever be distress again.

However, the most important factor is because the attic upstairs is where some of the most valuable memories he had with Goro. It is where he confessed to Goro, where he has his first kiss with Goro, and where the both of them lost their virginity to each other. It was the only place where Goro can truly let go of his mask, even if it was rare and for just a few short instances.

Indeed, the attic is not the cleanest place in the world and it is the furthest away from being a romantic spot. However, it doesn’t matter, – it never did – not when the most special person in the whole wide world is with him and nothing else matters.

Yet, Ren will never have that person in this very room ever again.

_Dead people have no memories._

 

_ February 14th, 23:10:73 _

Ren can hear the pitter patter sounds of the rain hitting the concrete floor outside of the café. Something about the sounds and smell of rain just calms him down and he has many fond memories that involved rain.

The cold weather brought by the rain is a great excuse to initiate physical contact with someone else –an excuse that he regularly abused whenever he was alone with Goro. It did make Goro more cooperative when he had an excuse to be physically close, even if the excuse itself is a weak one. Being with Goro was never easy but Ren has never mind the challenge. The rewards are far more valuable than the hardships and falling in love with Goro is the best thing that has ever happen to him.

"The rain reminds me of you," Goro once said, expression soft and eyes shone brightly as he looks out of the window to the on-going rain. Ren would be lying if he says he did not fall in love all over again. "It's calm, cool and most importantly, it soothes people like you did to me. It always gives me the urge to see you whenever it rains."

Ren may or may not swoon at Goro's words. Ok, he literally faint, Goro almost had a heart attack when Ren’s body swayed and hit the ground with a loud thud. 

However, now that it is currently raining, Ren feels that it is a lot colder than usual. He is rather sure that it is not because the weather is usually chilly during this time of the year. Essentially, the temperature caused by the weather has no link to the lack of warmth and emptiness in his heart.

Ren wonders if Goro ever felt this cold during his last moments in the dark, empty boiler room.

_Dead people stay cold and unmoving._

 

_ February 14th, 23:19:98 _

Two weeks ago, the Phantom Thieves celebrated Yusuke’s birthday and everyone showed up despite their busy schedule.

Ren is genuinely glad that he got to meet all these wonderful people, no matter how uniquely weird they are, they are still his treasured friends and friends support each other through tough times. He does love his friends but the best of them all is Morgana.

Morgana who follows Ren back to his hometown and gives him the support he needs when the rest of the Phantom Thieves were not able to be with him physically. Morgana who curls up right against him as he quietly listens to Ren’s sobs during some of the more difficult nights. Morgana who is the first to support him from leaving his hometown when he gets to experience Ren’s life with his parents' first hand.

Morgana does not know the exact date he was ‘born’ so they made it the day when he met Ren. Ren spoilt him rotten when Morgana’s birthday comes, buying him all the premium food that is definitely not healthy for a normal cat. Morgana was basically living the life of a king on that day.

The Phantom Thieves always celebrate each other’s birthday and even if they are not able to be there physically for some reason, they will never fail to at least send a happy birthday message.

Ren has never got to celebrate Goro’s birthday even though he promised to do so.

The message he sent to Goro’s phone failed to pass through.

_Dead people don’t have a birthday._

_Dead people, dead people, dead people, dead people._

_Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead._

**_D-E-A-D-G-O-R-O_ **

 

_ February 14th, 23:32:23 _

Ren has never believed in wishing for something and this thought of his only strengthen when he was wrongly accused by Shido.

He is the type who believes actions speaks louder than words, preferring to actively get what he wants instead of waiting for the day for someone high up in the sky who may or may not exist to grant his wish.

He is a person with few words, choosing to let his actions substitute for his unspoken words. 

However, Goro was different. Ren needs both words and actions to convince Goro when he seemed to disbelieve Ren’s true feelings. Ren doesn't mind showering the reddish brown-eyed beauty with love through different ways as it was always fun. The embarrassed smile and the pink blush that blossomed on Goro’s face like the setting sun they used to see together was always a welcomed bonus.

Now, Ren can barely even look at the sky when it was time for the sun to set.

Ren is a person who doesn't wish for anything. But, other than hoping and praying, what else can he do to have Goro back at his side again?

Nothing. 

There is nothing he could do. Not when the one he loves is dead, body lost in the dark unknown that Ren will never reach again.

Goro did not even leave anything behind for Ren to remember him by. There was nothing left for him and there will be nothing more for him.

_Goro will no longer be there with him._

**_Please! I beg of you!_ **

 

_ February 14th, 23:40:06 _

Ren takes his now empty cup to the kitchen to wash and dry it, knowing that Sojiro will have his head if he fails to keep the place squeaky clean and tidy.

The jingle of the bell above the door signifies the arrival of someone and telling Ren that he has forgotten to lock the door. Ren curses his forgetfulness that seems to be happening more often lately, he is going to get an earful from Sojiro if he found out and Ren has no doubt that café owner will somehow know about it.

Sojiro always knows everything that happens in the café. Ren  _definitely_ does not want to know if Sojiro knew what he and Goro were up to when Goro stayed over in the past.

Also, who walks into a café at this time of the night? It's a café, not a bar, there is no alcohol to sell. It’s not like Ren can sell them anyway.

"Sorry, the café is closed,” Ren places the now dry cup neatly down and walks out of the small kitchen, barely concealing the irritation in his voice, “Please come back tomo-" He cuts himself off when he notices who the person standing in the café is. In spite of the pleasant smile on that person's face, the man looks like he wants to bolt out of the café at any second and the umbrella looks like it will snap under his tight grip.

"Ah...Do you think you can make an exception?” Ren could not believe that he is able to hear the smooth and calming voice that he dreams so much about once again. Perhaps he has fallen asleep on the countertop and is currently dreaming? Sounds possible. At least, more possible than the supposedly dead person in front of him.

"Um...R-R-Ren?" the man – no, Goro motherfucking Akechi – says nervously, body tense and turn slightly towards the door like he really is about to run away with a speed that can put Ryuji to shame right now.

 _Oh hell no_ , Goro did not just come in and causes Ren to internally self-destruct before leaving right away. Dream or not, there is no way Ren is going to let him disappear from his sight once again.

He grabs Goro’s wrist with lighting speed, takes a step back and pulls the ex-detective towards him. Goro squeaks in response and it’s the most beautiful sound Ren has ever heard for the past fifteen months.

_Dead people don’t come back to life, but what if they were never dead in the first place?_

 

_ February 14th, 23:46:22 _

The taste of Goro melts faster than chocolate in his mouth and it’s so much sweeter than anything else. Kissing Goro is as addicting as always and Ren got so lost in the act that he almost misses the panic thumping on his back makes by Goro’s fist.

Whoops, he almost accidentally kills his boyfriend off through kissing.

Ren breaks the kiss, panting a little from lack of oxygen but at least he looks better than Goro, who appears to be disheveled and totally out of breath. As usual, red complements Goro greatly and Ren licks his lips at the delicious sight in front of him.

 _No, little Ren, it's not the time to get excited. Maybe later, all right?_ His brain  _and_ body really need to focus on a more important topic right now.

Goro eyes follow Ren’s tongue and he somehow got even redder in the face. Ren can see Goro’s Adam’s apple moving up then down when he swallows.

_You’re not helping me here, Goro._

" _That's_  a greeting," Goro says flatly and calmly. At least he is able to get his voice under control, but Ren thinks that he should really do something about his tomato face if he is trying to play it off as nothing. Does Goro even know how red he currently is? Ren is tempted to bring a mirror to Goro or better yet; make it even redder.

Ren runs his eyes over Goro, taking his own sweet time to take in the sight of his dead-turns-alive lover. Goro looks thinner than usual, pale face, heavy eye bags under his sunken eyes and the messy hair that can give Ren’s curly hair a run for the money. Ren is not going to lie, but Goro still looks as handsome as ever, it’s quite unfair actually.

It’s been a little more than one year since he sees Goro in front of his very eyes.

With shaking hands, Ren brings his hands up to cup Goro face, thumbing the red cheeks, running his hand through Goro’s tangled hair and holding both of Goro’s thin hands in his own hands. Touching as much as he could, to convince himself that he is not hallucinating. That, yes, he is not dreaming and the Goro that is in front of him is as real as can be. He doesn’t know how much he can take it if this Goro turns out to be a fake again.

“I’m here, Ren.” As perspective as ever, Goro pinpoints the reason behind Ren’s touchy behavior, a broken smile in place. Throughout the whole process, grief and regret are found in his eyes, yet, Ren is able to see the love that is carefully being hidden away behind those emotions.

Ren has many questions; how Goro survived, where he was all these time, why he did not come find Ren as soon as possible and many more. So much that a single day is not going to be enough to get all of his answers.

However, nothing else matters, as long as he is able to spend his future with the broken boy in front of him. It will not be easy and he is sure that there are many hurdles they need to overcome but having Goro alive and well is all he can ask for right now.

Days, months and weeks and the prayers he sent to God every single day has finally been answered and Ren cannot be more grateful than that.

_I will give you all the love that you will ever need._

 

_ February 14th, 23:59:12 _

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Goro.”

_Let’s spend today, all the future tomorrows and all the future events together._

 

_ February 15th, 00:00:00 _

Ren closes his eyes and kisses Goro as softly as he could, pouring all of his accumulated yearning and love into that single kiss.

_Thank you for coming back to me. I love you, Goro._

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing in Ren/Akira's POV and also my first time writing the protag as 'Ren'. It feels a bit weird calling the protag 'Ren' but I'm sure I will get used to it, just like how I got used to writing 'Goro'. Yes, I had so much trouble writing 'Goro' when the whole game is just calling him only by 'Akechi'. Then, I realized how sad it was that nobody calls him by his first name. Ow...
> 
> The number of times I wrote 'Akira' instead of 'Ren' is unreal. Sorry, bro.
> 
> If possible, do comment to tell me how well/bad I wrote so that I know what I did right/wrong. Thank you so much.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading this story and I hope you have a pleasant day!


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